I have much to tell you, me, for I have met the most beautiful mortal that has walked this earth. You want to know don't you? Of course you do! Her name is Psyche and her image brings pleasure to the eyes of any man, be he a god or a mortal. She's quite exquisite. Her beauty rivals even Mother's, which is probably why Mother sent me to strike her with an arrow that would cause her to fall in love with a man that Fortune has denied any sort of health or happiness. But really, she's oh so beautiful.
To be quite honest, when I had my first glimpse of her, she did not look that impressive. Just mere flesh and bones. Nothing compared to me and my godly self! But now, I can't breathe without her. It's all because I fell off of that tree while I was about to shoot her with my arrow and ended up piercing myself instead. The first person I saw was her and I fell madly in love. She's wonderful. Thereafter, I married her and I gave her everything she could have needed. She never saw my face because my mother's wrath would be ignited if she were to know, but I knew she loved me regardless. I just knew. We even conceived a child! Who would have thought that I, the elusive Cupid, would wed and become a father! However, one day she insisted that I let her sisters visit. I was sure it was going to be a terrible idea because of their wretched nature, but I couldn't resist her seductive whispers... I just couldn't. Curse my own power!
Her sisters came and brought with themselves a raging storm of jealousy and contempt masked by sweet words of familiarity towards Psyche. Those vixens persuaded my sweet Psyche to try to kill me by persecuting me with crimes that I did not commit! My poor Psyche cultivated the seed of doubt that those two women planted, and she planned to kill me, even when I warned her of what they would do. The poor lamb didn't know any better and came at me with a blade only to discover my godly body. Once she laid her eyes on me, she ended up falling in love with me even more, of course. I was unaware of her actions at that moment, but I woke as soon as she spilled wax on my perfect skin. I still have the burn scar from it... In a moment of anger and disappointment, I left her. It broke my heart to leave, but I needed to tend to my skin. A god must look his best. Duh.
Little did I know that my mother found out about our elopement. She sought out Psyche, tortured her, and gave her tasks to punish her even more. Mother locked me in my room, but I contacted my friends to make sure Psyche would finish the tasks smoothly. She did great until the very last task. I had a feeling she would be tempted by the jar of beauty (I mean who wouldn't after days of torture from Mother?); therefore, as soon as Mother let me free, I flew to my queen and removed the sleeping spell and embraced my love. I let her go to complete her mission, for I had a mission as well. I went to Jupiter and used my charms to persuade him to make our marriage official. To my utmost delight, he agreed and now, I am off to name our baby! Hmmm... let's see, how about... Pleasure?
~ Cupid
Painting of Cupid and Psyche.
"Le Ravissement de Psyché - Bouguereau" by Gisele Prado Pimentel, 1895. Source: Flickr.
I did not change the plot of the story nor the characters. I chose to write it in the style of Cupid's diary entry because I thought it would be funny to portray it in Cupid's point of view because we don't really get to hear much of Cupid in the story other than when the couple just got married or after Psyche finished her tasks. My main goal was to retell the story in its entirety, just through Cupid's point of view as well as his personality. I wanted to also exaggerate the effect of Cupid's "magic arrow" by making him exaggerate his love for her and her beauty.
Bibliography:
"Apuleius's Cupid and Psyche" translated by Tony Kline. Website: UN-Textbook.
Hello Michelle. It is so funny that you chose to write about this story as well! I really like how you placed the tale in the point of view of Cupid. I also feel that you did a great job portraying Pysche and the scope of her beauty. Comparing her to the goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, and saying that she rivals her beauty is a good way for the reader to create an image of Psyche. The only thing that seems to be wrong with the blog is that it looks like you accidentally pushed enter in the middle of your third paragraph. Other than that it was great!
ReplyDeleteHello, Michelle! This was such a great way to retell this story! I love the way you portrayed Cupid as a bit of a narcissist. I feel like we all know a guy who is almost as taken with himself as any girl he's ever been with. The last line of the story actually made me laugh out loud! Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle, I picked your story to provide one of my feedback for the project feedback assignment. I picked your story because I loved your week 1 story. And you didn't disappoint this week either. I loved how we got to see the story from Cupid's point of view. I am sorry that I cannot make any suggestions as you wrote it perfectly. The paragraph transitions and the sentence structures are really great as the story flowed really well, and it was enjoyable to read.
ReplyDeleteCupid seemed like a really nice guy who wanted to do anything possible to make his special someone very happy. I liked how you had Cupid warn Psyche, but she did not listen. I liked the title also as it told the reader that you were telling things from Cupid's point of view. The setting was not all that important here in my opinion, but I could still see what each characters were doing.
Great job. I will surely return to read more of your stories.
I loved this story! It was written so well. The sentence structure was perfect. It felt very personal as if I really was reading Cupid's diary. The sentences flowed with such each, then going right into the next paragraph was great. I really like when stories are told from the characters point of view or have character dialog. It allows for the reader to establish a deeper connection. I typically like rewritten stories. I especially like the story of Cupid and Psyche. I was hooked before it even really started.
ReplyDeleteThe story isn't too short or too wordy trying to give it length. The first line was good hook into the story. I love the amount of love he has for Psyche. The way you described and used the details just made the story that much better. I like the personification that you used. I really did try to find one thing to point out that could be critiqued and I literally have nothing. I can't wait to read the other things you have!
I read this unit for my first set of readings and found it so interesting. I love that you chose to write it as Cupid's diary since it allows us to see the story from a different point of view.
ReplyDeleteAs the others have said, your story flows amazingly well. There are no grammar or spelling mistakes that caught my eye and the paragraphs flowed well. It reads like the diary of a god!
There was only one thing that I thought to recommend and it is more stylistic than anything. I think it would have been interesting to see a little more of the self-love and vanity that Cupid is so famous for. Like his mother, he's rather self-centered and I think the idea of falling in love with Psyche from his own mistake might miff him a little bit. But again, it’s more a personal style than a necessity.
You are a fabulous writer and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
I really liked your idea of keeping the plot the same and just writing from Cupid's perspective through a diary entry. That is so clever! As far as grammar and sentence structure go, I think you did great. I didn't see any errors and I think the entire piece flowed very well together. I really enjoyed the little anecdotes you put throughout the writing to give it the feel of actually coming from Cupid's thoughts. I think you did very well in showing his love for Psyche as well as adding humor throughout the story. I have tried to find something to critique, and I am having a hard time. I think the last line of the entry was the best way to end the story honestly. You are a great writer and I really enjoyed reading this. Good job!
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteI was in the mood for a romantic story tonight and your portfolio certainly did not disappoint! I love how this story is told through the perspective of Cupid. It is wonderful and almost comical to read him boast about himself so much but yet there is a beauty is seeing him accept that Psyche is truly something extraordinary. I really liked this story and loved the theme. I feel like this could be applicable to so many relationships nowadays. Some couples are "not meant to be together" perhaps due to the collision of two different worlds but love can surpass barriers and I think that you did a wonderful job of explaining that. Your story had a great flow to it and it was really easy to follow. You did an excellent job in placing the spaces in your paragraphs as these areas were natural breaks. I think that you know what you are doing and the direction that you wish to go with your project. Great portfolio so far! Good luck to you on the rest of it.
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteGreat story, very creative and interesting. I really enjoyed how you wrote the story in the original way it was written. I think that’s very hard to do and you really did a great job. I thought it was such a good idea to write it in the perspective of Cupid considering you didn’t change much else you said. I think you did a great job and really did well at telling the story in your own way, but keeping it similar to the original. Job well done and I really look forward to reading more of your stories. I like how it is written in the form of a letter. It would be cool to do a letter format to another story that doesn’t have that in the original story. I am working on adding more detail to my story and staying close to the original story while telling it in my own way.
I really enjoyed reading this story. It was much more entertaining to read than the original version. I like how you chose to write your story in the form of a diary. I also like how you gave the dialogue more of a modern feel and made him seem more like a relatable person instead of some god that talked too formal. Most of the stories that I write are also in the first person point of view. I feel like it helps you to relate better to the character and get a deeper insight into what they are thinking and reasoning behind their actions. I didn't really see anything that was wrong with your story. The structure seems to flow well and you grammar seems fine also. I enjoyed reading this story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI read Cupid and Psyche, so I enjoyed this retelling of it. I think you did a good job with the diary format. I would say to vary your paragraph length more, but since this is like a letter--the paragraph lengths work well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tylor's above comment, this was more entertaining than the original myth. You breathed life into this story. You really gave Cupid an interesting personality that made me want to keep reading. I honestly don't think there is anything that I would change.
Maybe cut out some sentences like "Of course you do!" Also, the begining, just stuck with "I have much to tell you", cutting out the "me" part. Other than that I have no complaints. Great job!
Hey Michelle! I loved this story. I don't know much about the story of Cupid and Psyche, but none the less I really enjoyed the story! I think it was a great idea to tell the story from Cupid's perspective. I liked that you used his journal as the medium to tell his story. It was very funny to see inside his mind, especially how full of himself he was. My favorite lines were, " It broke my heart to leave, but I needed to tend to my skin. A god must look his best. Duh." You did a great job of giving your main character a full-blown personality. The gods of mythology, for me, tend to lack personality and just act a lot. But with this story I fully felt the character's motivations. The paragraph lengths are great and easy to read. Overall, I think you did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey, Michelle! Thoughts as I read:
ReplyDelete• “To my most beautiful self” – Oh my god, what a wonderful opening line! This definitely sets the tone right off the bat. It flows nicely into that first sentence, where he continues with the “…you, me, …” dance.
• I like how he describes her at first “she wasn’t that impressive” after he’s just been saying how beautiful she is. I forgot for a moment that Venus is Cupid’s mom, so that line about how Psyche is as beautiful as his mom made me chuckle a bit.
• Cupid poking himself with his own arrow will never not be hilarious, in my honest opinion. Not necessarily just here, but in all variations on that theme.
• There’s paragraphs are pretty big, so I’d recommend cutting them up a bit to make them easier to read.
• “a raging storm of jealousy and contempt” – what a wonderful way to put it! It brings to mind the image of two sisters just sweeping into Pysche’s life.
• Haha, Cupid mourning his perfect skin, bless.
• And Cupid getting locked away in his room is pretty great, too.
Overall this is a fantastic story! I love how you can really hear Cupid’s voice through this diary entry – fantastic writing!