Why isn't he here yet?
It's half past three already. He's half an hour late.
He's usually never this late... Oh no, what if something happened?
~~
Moments later, a soft knock on the front door broke Marie's reverie. The Goose finally came. A tad late, but he came nonetheless. Marie let out a sigh of relief.
She stood up from her seat at the kitchen table and strode quickly to the door to let the Goose in. He waddled in and set himself down in the living room. Compared to other geese, he was about twice as big. Because of his size, the first time Marie saw him, she actually wanted to catch him to make some delicious goose soup. That was before he started talking.
She thought back to the days when her daughters had to beg near the crossroads each day and she had to work long night shifts just to make ends meet. It was awful and she wondered how they managed to keep going. The thought of the disgusting, cockroach-ridden, old apartment they used to live in near the cemetery sent her reeling. They were lucky to not have caught anything nasty while living there.
Thanks to the Goose, however, her family eventually moved into a posh neighborhood far from all those bad memories of the past. His monthly "gifts" have provided them with more than enough wealth to live on for the rest of their lives. What was the monthly gift you ask? It was a beautiful golden feather.
Marie remembered that day two years ago when the Goose gave her the first feather. She was running at him with a butcher's knife when he suddenly yelled, "Wait!!! I'm no ordinary goose. You can't kill me!!!" She dropped the knife and just stared at him in confusion. Once the threat of imminent death was gone, he continued, "Look, I have this... power... to think and talk like a human. You probably think you're dreaming at this point. Well go ahead, you can pinch yourself if you don't believe me. I also have an ability to create golden feathers that you can sell for lots of money in exchange for my life. I have seen your daughters while I was flying over the outside market. It's them with the dirty clothes and the matted, ratty hair, right?"
She didn't know what to think of this stalker-ish, fat Goose, but she was certainly interested in that golden feather. She then told him, "Show me the feather and prove to me that it's actually valuable. If this proves wrong,we'll be having roasted goose tonight." He used his beak to pluck a single feather from under his wing and handed it to her. It was beautiful and polished. It felt real, but she couldn't be too sure since she wasn't an expert. She took the feather and the Goose to a jeweler nearby to see how much it would get. She thought it wouldn't be worth more than ten dollars, but to her surprise, the shop owner offered her ten thousand dollars. What the heck, right? It turned out, the feather was made of 100% gold, which was impossible to obtain, even by using the most complex refining process. However, she wasn't too caught up about the details; all she cared about in that moment was the huge lump of cash that she was about to deposit into her bank account.
While plopped on the couch, the Goose began to talk, pulling Marie away from her thoughts. "So I've been thinking about leaving the country. Maybe to Canada or something because you know the moment Donald Trump is able to do well in the presidential polls, you need to skedaddle pronto. Plus, it looks like your family is financially stable now, so you don't need me anymore," he said. Marie froze and panic settled over her. "No, but we do need you. The girls haven't gone to college yet and I don't even have a job right now," she said, trying to throw out any excuse she could. The Goose stared at her blankly and said, "Well, now you have the ability to get a good job and work for your own money."
Her? Work? What a joke. She hadn't worked in the last two years and thinking about the myriad of toilet bowls she had to clean before disgusted her.
The Goose got up and pulled out a golden feather, handed it to her, and said, "Here's the last one. Maybe you should keep it as a souvenir of our friendship and not sell it." She couldn't believe he was serious. Then Marie really panicked, and not knowing what else to do, she grabbed the Goose and plucked a handful of feathers. The problem was... none of them came out gold. No... no... NOOOO!! She couldn't stop herself and ended up pulling all of his white feathers out.
The Goose ran from her. Looking at her, the Goose said in a solemn voice, "Did you know my feathers only become gold if I want them to because they take away part of my lifespan each time I pull them out? I only did so because I cared for your family... It looks like my kindness over the past two years wasn't enough for your greed." He turned and spread his wings to fly away, leaving Marie for the last time.
Author's note: For this week, I chose to retell the story of "The Golden Goose" from the Jakata Tales Unit. In the original story, there was a goose with gold feathers and a poor mother with two daughters. The goose met the family and out of the kindness of its own heart, it gave one of its feathers to them to sell so they would live in comfort. The goose would continually give the family his feathers, but the mother didn’t trust the goose. She planned to steal all of this feathers the next time he came by. Her plan backfired because when she did that, all of the feathers were white and grew back white because they only become gold if they are plucked against his wish. As a result, the goose flew away and never came back again.
I kept the main plot of the story the same and I added in some dialogue to bring more 'reality' into the story. I also wrote the story with parts of the mother's/Marie's thoughts (in italics) instead of just an omniscient point of view since I wanted to depict her thoughts about why she tried to steal all of the goose’s feathers. I also added in a reason as to why the goose’s feathers didn’t turn gold when they were plucked against his will. I think this story has very good lessons to teach. One is that greed can and will ultimately cause you to lose everything. The other one is that you have to be grateful for the people that help you or they will leave you in the end. If anyone watches 'Once Upon a Time' on TV, I think this would be a good story to make into an episode! :)
Bibliography:
"The Golden Goose" by Ellen C. Babbitt, 1922. Website: UN-Textbook.
She stood up from her seat at the kitchen table and strode quickly to the door to let the Goose in. He waddled in and set himself down in the living room. Compared to other geese, he was about twice as big. Because of his size, the first time Marie saw him, she actually wanted to catch him to make some delicious goose soup. That was before he started talking.
She thought back to the days when her daughters had to beg near the crossroads each day and she had to work long night shifts just to make ends meet. It was awful and she wondered how they managed to keep going. The thought of the disgusting, cockroach-ridden, old apartment they used to live in near the cemetery sent her reeling. They were lucky to not have caught anything nasty while living there.
Thanks to the Goose, however, her family eventually moved into a posh neighborhood far from all those bad memories of the past. His monthly "gifts" have provided them with more than enough wealth to live on for the rest of their lives. What was the monthly gift you ask? It was a beautiful golden feather.
Marie remembered that day two years ago when the Goose gave her the first feather. She was running at him with a butcher's knife when he suddenly yelled, "Wait!!! I'm no ordinary goose. You can't kill me!!!" She dropped the knife and just stared at him in confusion. Once the threat of imminent death was gone, he continued, "Look, I have this... power... to think and talk like a human. You probably think you're dreaming at this point. Well go ahead, you can pinch yourself if you don't believe me. I also have an ability to create golden feathers that you can sell for lots of money in exchange for my life. I have seen your daughters while I was flying over the outside market. It's them with the dirty clothes and the matted, ratty hair, right?"
She didn't know what to think of this stalker-ish, fat Goose, but she was certainly interested in that golden feather. She then told him, "Show me the feather and prove to me that it's actually valuable. If this proves wrong,we'll be having roasted goose tonight." He used his beak to pluck a single feather from under his wing and handed it to her. It was beautiful and polished. It felt real, but she couldn't be too sure since she wasn't an expert. She took the feather and the Goose to a jeweler nearby to see how much it would get. She thought it wouldn't be worth more than ten dollars, but to her surprise, the shop owner offered her ten thousand dollars. What the heck, right? It turned out, the feather was made of 100% gold, which was impossible to obtain, even by using the most complex refining process. However, she wasn't too caught up about the details; all she cared about in that moment was the huge lump of cash that she was about to deposit into her bank account.
While plopped on the couch, the Goose began to talk, pulling Marie away from her thoughts. "So I've been thinking about leaving the country. Maybe to Canada or something because you know the moment Donald Trump is able to do well in the presidential polls, you need to skedaddle pronto. Plus, it looks like your family is financially stable now, so you don't need me anymore," he said. Marie froze and panic settled over her. "No, but we do need you. The girls haven't gone to college yet and I don't even have a job right now," she said, trying to throw out any excuse she could. The Goose stared at her blankly and said, "Well, now you have the ability to get a good job and work for your own money."
Her? Work? What a joke. She hadn't worked in the last two years and thinking about the myriad of toilet bowls she had to clean before disgusted her.
The Goose got up and pulled out a golden feather, handed it to her, and said, "Here's the last one. Maybe you should keep it as a souvenir of our friendship and not sell it." She couldn't believe he was serious. Then Marie really panicked, and not knowing what else to do, she grabbed the Goose and plucked a handful of feathers. The problem was... none of them came out gold. No... no... NOOOO!! She couldn't stop herself and ended up pulling all of his white feathers out.
The Goose ran from her. Looking at her, the Goose said in a solemn voice, "Did you know my feathers only become gold if I want them to because they take away part of my lifespan each time I pull them out? I only did so because I cared for your family... It looks like my kindness over the past two years wasn't enough for your greed." He turned and spread his wings to fly away, leaving Marie for the last time.
~~
Golden feather by Soraya Leathers. Source: Pinterest.
Author's note: For this week, I chose to retell the story of "The Golden Goose" from the Jakata Tales Unit. In the original story, there was a goose with gold feathers and a poor mother with two daughters. The goose met the family and out of the kindness of its own heart, it gave one of its feathers to them to sell so they would live in comfort. The goose would continually give the family his feathers, but the mother didn’t trust the goose. She planned to steal all of this feathers the next time he came by. Her plan backfired because when she did that, all of the feathers were white and grew back white because they only become gold if they are plucked against his wish. As a result, the goose flew away and never came back again.
I kept the main plot of the story the same and I added in some dialogue to bring more 'reality' into the story. I also wrote the story with parts of the mother's/Marie's thoughts (in italics) instead of just an omniscient point of view since I wanted to depict her thoughts about why she tried to steal all of the goose’s feathers. I also added in a reason as to why the goose’s feathers didn’t turn gold when they were plucked against his will. I think this story has very good lessons to teach. One is that greed can and will ultimately cause you to lose everything. The other one is that you have to be grateful for the people that help you or they will leave you in the end. If anyone watches 'Once Upon a Time' on TV, I think this would be a good story to make into an episode! :)
Bibliography:
"The Golden Goose" by Ellen C. Babbitt, 1922. Website: UN-Textbook.
Michelle- wow!
ReplyDeleteI read this story too, so we must have done the same unit. This was seriously one of (if not the best) storytelling blog post I had read thus far in class. I think it helped that I had already read the story, but you brought so much life and detail to it. The story itself was not long at all, so that gave you a lot of range to be creative with it! I love your use of dialogue, as well as the inner thoughts to start it off. It really got my attention!
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story and the take you took on it! It was really interesting and inventive and you wrote it very well. I like how much voice you gave the paper and it really made me want to keep reading it, so good job! I love the detail and how you laid everything out, even though it wasn't too long you still gave so much information.
Hi Michelle! I picked your project as my free choice because I like your stories. You didn't disappoint this time either.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, great sentence regarding Donald Trump! I loved how he is the reason the goose is going to move to Canada :). Very nice!! Now to the actual story. Great story! I really like the idea of putting the thoughts of Marie in italics. I also like the dialogues. Those two things made the story much more interesting because it made it feel like I was actually watching them act in a scene. The details about what they did before really sets up what she will do in the end. I really like the message you conveyed through the story - don't be greedy. There were some errors here and there, but if you look at it again, I am sure you can fix them really quickly. One is the first sentence, I think "a small knock" rather than "a small knock noise" would make that better.
I really liked your story though. I will be back to read more.
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story! I also really appreciated that you put thoughts in italics. I don't typically do that but the more that I see people do that... I am tempted to incorporate that into my writings. You did an excellent job with writing dialogue. I really suck at that, so I appreciate those who are able to do it really well. You provided so much information and detail that it was easy to read. I read your authors note and I watch Once Upon A Time! I agree, this would make an excellent episode. I think it falls in line with a lot of the metaphors in the show. I think you're doing an awesome job with your portfolio and I look forward to see what you come up with next! I will be back to read more and see how you develop your future stories.
Hi Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your portfolio! This story specifically I really liked that you put Marie’s inner thoughts in italics. It helps depict what is going on through out the story.
I really like the point of the story, not to be greedy. I feel like you gave a real like lesson through your story. I noticed some people made comments about some errors, but I did not see any so I am guessing you fixed those already!
I also wanted to compliment you on your use of dialogue! I struggle with it so much, and you made it look so easy. So good job!
The only change I would recommend would be to make your author’s note larger. I know you make it a different size to differentiate it from your story, but it is one of my favorite parts to read and yours was almost too small to read.
This is such a great story to have in your portfolio! It does a really great job of showcasing your writing abilities in both dialogue and plot progression. I was also really intrigued by how you managed to take this old story and spin it so that the tone was constantly revolving between focusing on underlying ethics of human kindness and relationships and the integration of plot issues in a really modern, relatable way. You made both the goose and the mother very relatable. At first I thought that the story was going to go in a different direction, but you took me through the story in a different way than I had anticipated. Great portfolio! You are a great writer.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting story. A talking goose that can pluck golden feathers from its wings in exchange for shortening its own lifespan. Your story really revealed how the mother was greedy with her thoughts of not wanting to work for money and just taking the goose’s feathers. The conversation between them did add a sense of realism to the story too. I wonder how many times the goose has plucked his golden feathers for Marie and her family. Such a nice goose he was to care for a species that is not his own. Especially since helping them out had a bad effect on him.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever had something that gave me pure golden feather or any object, I would treat them like they were the greatest being on Earth. Too bad that this is only a fairy tale and that if it did ever happen, then it would go viral all over social media and catch so much unwanted attention as well as a hunting mob that will chase this golden producer anywhere. Great job with the story!